How many 5 year olds can you take in a fight?

Today I was introduced to a website that gave you a quiz with no more than 25 questions that was supposed to tell you how many 5 year olds you could take in a fight, based on things like your size arm length, and other things like how much martial arts experience you have and if you’ve ever been swarmed before. Out of curiosity we made the answer to every question as good as we could (we basically engineered the perfect 5 year old fighting machine). He had a build of long stocky arms, and he had a very muscular body (like a pro body builder), and many years of martial arts, and to top it all off he had been in numerous fights. Sadly, the ultimate 5 year old fighting machine could only take 39
five year olds.

I don’t know; that seems kind of weak for a bunch of five year olds. I've seen Neo take like a whole city full of Mr. Anderson’s and still win. And here you have a guy who has maxed out in every aspect of a five year old fighting machine, and he can only take 39 “five year olds”. I think with some careful planning and precautions, it would be easy to take on and beat significantly more than 39 five year olds.

I think that one of the major set backs of our fighting machine was that he knew too much martial arts. Believe me, martial arts doesn’t get you anywhere in a fight. I took
Teak-won-do and I didn’t get anything out of it so I got my parents to stop taking me to the stupid place, and stop wasting my time. With teak-won-do, the fighter probably spends too much time calculating the karate chop to the jugular, or getting in his stupid stance to take on a swarm of five year olds at the same time. If I had his build and his attributes, I would just swing like crazy and knock out whole waves of them. It would be so easy. With five year olds, its all about intimidation and authority. One punch would knock out like 10 five year olds, and then as the next wave of them comes, they’ll see the rest of their fellow colleagues lying on the floor with their heads cracked open, and immediately the start losing momentum. Once the swarm begins to thin out, you can start grabbing their tiny little heads, and smashing them into the walls, to save energy. Once you get to say, 75 five year olds, you can start buildup of their bodies, and stand on the whole pile of them, looking down on the oncoming swarms, and posing an even more imposing image.

In a worst case scenario, if you find yourself surrounded by five year olds, all you need to do is pick up one of the unconscious/dead 5 year olds, and start swing him/her in a circle creating a sort of impromptu barrier that would effectively keep the five year olds at a safe distance until you can figure out how to get out of there.

With these methods, it would be sooo easy to getting way past the 39 kid benchmark that was previously set. And this is all done without the aid of any sort of weapon. Imagine all of the possibilities if one was permitted the use of a baseball bat (metal or wood; it doesn’t matter).

If you would like to see how many five year olds you can take, go to THIS website.