Welcome to MLIBTY official BlogSite my life is better than yours: March 2008

Thursday, March 27, 2008

wat it do, in da hood

Sum people think that they got it hard. Well lemme tell ya, dat they aint seen notin til they been forced to live in the ghetto. Life’s tuff. Cant do notin bout it sometimz. On my third birth day, sum wigger from down the street walked by without sayin hapi birth day, so I shot ‘im. Cant have people gettin up in my face, disrespectin me like dat.

The other day I was up at skol try’n to get my edukation, when sum foo got up and shot me for bein 2 smart. So i got my people and we took him out. Course by that time I bin shot 4 times already, so 1 more don’t make no dif.

Life’s tuff on the streets. I alwayz gotta make sure my steet cred’s good, so I gotta take out the trash every now and then. One time wile I was doin my drive by, some pig tryd to chase me. Well I didn’t even run. I just stepped outta the car and slapped him rite in the mouf with the bak of my hand. He aint got but a handful of teeth left. S’okey thou cuz he still be up in my hood, and we cant be havin that. Nu-uh man. By this time tomoroh that foo be dug up 6 feat up in the ground.

crazy stuff

If you’ve ever been on Youtube before, then you’ll know that there are some CRAZY things that people do just to get attention. There was one video in particular about just random stuff, that I was just amazed by. Of course I’d seen a lot of stuff on Youtube, but I think that this one might just be the most deserving of being watched. Well the video is called “crazy shit”.

A lot of the stuff you might have seen before, but there are some that are just—well you’ll see. But one of the scenes involve a person in a mailbox, who pushes out the mail. Yawn, right. But eventually there is a guy who doesn’t think that its funny, and he pulls out a gun and puts it in the slot – and shoots the guy.

Then there is also another one which, I admit, made me kind of nauseous. It was a kickboxing match, where a guy A kicks guy B. Well Guy B blocks the kick, and Guy B’s calf just snaps in half. What really made it sick was not the slow motion, but the fact that after it snapped clean in half, he moved his leg back while his calf was dangling, then tried to put weight on it. But what happened was that the bottom half of his leg just gave out, and he kept sinking until his knee touched the mat. If you watch the video, youll see what im talking about it. But don’t say I didn’t warn you when you vomit.


http://youtube.com/watch?v=k4FDkQKuElg

Reluctant Winter

This year it seem like winter will never leave. The snow continues to pour and pour, and when you think its gone, it snows some more. I mean its fine for it to snow during the winter, since we get snow days and all, but for it to continue snowing days before spring break, well that’s effed up. I mean, it even snowed up ‘til Easter. I thought for sure that after Easter that the snow would surely stop falling. Apparently not, as it is still snowing up ‘til this day.

As a matter of fact, I thought today aws going to be a nice day so I wore shorts to school. In the idle of the day, I looded out of a window and saw that there was a freakin’ BLIZZARD going on outside.

I was looking forward to playing some pick up football or soccer or something, but then it has to go snow, and now all I have to look forward to is shoveling. So much for spring.

Monday, March 24, 2008

?

There are many mysteries in life. Why do old people smell bad? Where do babies come from? What the hell are Teletubies? But the question that we will be discussing is, Does everything lead to cancer?

Recently, the American people have become diagnosed with something I like to call Cancer-Phobia. This is the belief that everything can lead to cancer if you look hard enough for a reason. The truth is that cancer is not a joke. There are many people who have cancer, and this “joke” of everything contributing to cancer is ridiculous. At lunch the other day, there was a kid who decided to inform us of what he saw on the news the other day (Jay Kang). He started talking about how he saw a segment of the news telling about how unhealthy it is to reuse water bottles. After his little rant, he tagged on the question: “and guess what?” It was at that point that the people who were listening to him knew that he was about to say the C-word. So when he told us that it led to cancer nobody was surprised.

For those of you who Rube’s who actually stopped reusing water bottles, heed this, not everything you hear is true. If you really cared about preventing/curing cancer, you would try to support the cancer victims, or at least give something in the way of supporting cancer research, instead of naively believing the nonsense that you hear on FOX News.

The Maria Culpa AP test

Just recently I was forced to take a mini imitation of the AP multiple choice test. As innocent as it may initially seem, don’t be fooled. This test is vile, disgusting, and tricky. Let your guard down for 1 second, and you’ll find yourself falling into one of the many PURPOSELY planted traps designed to fail you on the test. For example, on this test in particular, there was a document (Doc C), that wasn’t even a real source. That’s right, it was a made up source made alluringly simple, so that you would get duped into using it. You might think that you wouldn’t fall for this trick, but the truth is that there is a very real possibility of that happening. When you’re pressed for time, and you find an article that is easy to understand and use, you’ll probably use it to support/refute your argument.

Fortunately enough, I have enough knowledge of diction and logical fallacies to understand that it was not a good source to use. However, even I, was not able to see past it not being a real source.

When Mr. Ayers told us about how the grades were graded, I felt no remorse or pity whatsoever. See, the process is that they take qualified AP lang teachers, send them to Nebraska and lock them in a room with little bread and water, chain them to a table, and force them to grade paper after paper (according to Mr. Ayers). He also mentioned something about if an essay was too confusing or debatable, that they had to go to the “table leader” and have them sort it out. What the hell is a table leader?

Well if anything it makes me feel better about taking their stupid tests knowing that they have to report to their table leaders.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

How many 5 year olds can you take in a fight?

Today I was introduced to a website that gave you a quiz with no more than 25 questions that was supposed to tell you how many 5 year olds you could take in a fight, based on things like your size arm length, and other things like how much martial arts experience you have and if you’ve ever been swarmed before. Out of curiosity we made the answer to every question as good as we could (we basically engineered the perfect 5 year old fighting machine). He had a build of long stocky arms, and he had a very muscular body (like a pro body builder), and many years of martial arts, and to top it all off he had been in numerous fights. Sadly, the ultimate 5 year old fighting machine could only take 39
five year olds.

I don’t know; that seems kind of weak for a bunch of five year olds. I've seen Neo take like a whole city full of Mr. Anderson’s and still win. And here you have a guy who has maxed out in every aspect of a five year old fighting machine, and he can only take 39 “five year olds”. I think with some careful planning and precautions, it would be easy to take on and beat significantly more than 39 five year olds.

I think that one of the major set backs of our fighting machine was that he knew too much martial arts. Believe me, martial arts doesn’t get you anywhere in a fight. I took
Teak-won-do and I didn’t get anything out of it so I got my parents to stop taking me to the stupid place, and stop wasting my time. With teak-won-do, the fighter probably spends too much time calculating the karate chop to the jugular, or getting in his stupid stance to take on a swarm of five year olds at the same time. If I had his build and his attributes, I would just swing like crazy and knock out whole waves of them. It would be so easy. With five year olds, its all about intimidation and authority. One punch would knock out like 10 five year olds, and then as the next wave of them comes, they’ll see the rest of their fellow colleagues lying on the floor with their heads cracked open, and immediately the start losing momentum. Once the swarm begins to thin out, you can start grabbing their tiny little heads, and smashing them into the walls, to save energy. Once you get to say, 75 five year olds, you can start buildup of their bodies, and stand on the whole pile of them, looking down on the oncoming swarms, and posing an even more imposing image.

In a worst case scenario, if you find yourself surrounded by five year olds, all you need to do is pick up one of the unconscious/dead 5 year olds, and start swing him/her in a circle creating a sort of impromptu barrier that would effectively keep the five year olds at a safe distance until you can figure out how to get out of there.

With these methods, it would be sooo easy to getting way past the 39 kid benchmark that was previously set. And this is all done without the aid of any sort of weapon. Imagine all of the possibilities if one was permitted the use of a baseball bat (metal or wood; it doesn’t matter).

If you would like to see how many five year olds you can take, go to THIS website.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Researching The ways of the Witch Doctor

Im going to be researching the long and ancient practice of ---- Witch Doctors!!!

For those of you who are reading this and are doing the same assignment, I know how envious you are feeling towards me. I know that your topics of Ancient Greece, and the Solar system might not be as exciting, but I’m sure that they are all fine topics.

Now then, back to Witch Doctors. I don’t really know what inspired me to research this topic, but I’m glad I chose it. I have done some brief research on the topic. I found that the practice of “witch doctoring (?)” has been a long one, going on since around 5000 b.c. There have been many different cultures with witch doctors, each with their own methods and customs. I found that many cultures built their traditions off of those from other cultures. For example many civilizations take their medical means from the ancient Egyptian civilization. The Egyptians were the first to have people in specific fields; people who knew how to heal your eyes, others for your head (headaches, fevers), and others for wounds.

Hopefully, I will start researching Witch Doctors more in depth. I hope to focus on the head shrinking aspect of some witch doctors, but I’m not sure how much info is available on that topic.

Surviving in the Wild

How cool would it be, to be stranded in the wild for, say, 2 weeks? There are people who make a living by agreeing to be placed in the wild and surviving with nothing but a knife. The only person with them would be the camera man, and I think that in most cases they aren’t even allowed to talk to them.

To be honest, I don’t think that it would be that hard to do. Think about it. If you have a knife you can kill animals and get food, you can spear fish, cut wood for fire, build a shelter, pass time, and protect yourself. Even without a knife, it would still be manageable to get by with your own two hands. I once saw an episode of one of these survivor shows where the guy stranded in the wild set up a trap for catching fish out of twigs. It was pretty much a wooden cage/ box with one open side where the fish would enter, and a last side which was to be closed when the fish entered the cage. The twist, though, was that when the last side of the cage was closed, there was a roof to the cage with additional twigs that not only made sure that the fish couldn’t jump out, but since it was meant to spear the fish, it made sure that it couldn’t break out of it. Surprisingly enough, it actually worked, and he managed to catch a variety of different fish, and he had himself a “feast”.

It might sound kind of extreme and vary difficult, but in reality, it’s not. They are throwing a man in the forest, full of many animals, and full of vegetation, aaand they provide him with a knife. What I would like to see is someone going into a desert, say the Sahara desert, and have them find their way out, surviving however they can. As log as you keep in mind that the most vital thing in the desert is water, and if you know how to get that water, you should fare pretty well.

Personally, if I was in the desert, obviously I would survive off of the desert animals. For water I would find the desert plants, and I would extract the water that they store, because desert plants store their water for long intervals, due to the lack of it in the desert. During the day, I would stay cool by not overexerting myself, and if I did get too hot I would stop and rest, and cover myself with think white clothes that would repel the sun’s UV rays and keep them from heating me up. At night I would dig a hole in the desert ground deep enough for me to curl up in. This allows for me to make better use of my body heat. And if I ever got desperate, I could always find a substitute to food with a “hand” from the camera man…

Monday, March 10, 2008

Country Music

Wow. Country Music is really something. I mean who in their right mind can resist the amazingness of country music.

To be honest with you, amazingness isn’t even a word, but then again you can’t really consider “Country Music” to be music. It’s much more than that. If you just listen to just about any male country singer, you will notice that the whole point of the song is to glorify their trucks. Then on the other hand, you have the female singers who dedicate their songs to letting everyone know how envious they are of the attention that the truck gets, and how great it felt for them to mutilate the truck. The drama is unbelievable, its almost overwhelming.

Oops, I almost forgot to mention the impact of such great guitar playing. Some rube might think that the beat was a simple one, but the truth is its not. The Country guitar players, have tremendous skills. In many cases, the Guitar player can carry out the tune with just two fingers and make it look so simple. I don’t know how they do it.

But all of this pales in comparison to the phenomenal sound of their voices. If you’ve ever heard the sound of their voices then you probably know what I’m talking about. It’s almost like they sing from their throats, deep, deep down, almost as if they are capable of strangling their voices. I cant even fathom how they can do that, but they do. If you can believe it, there are people who don’t find this kind of music appealing. They think that it is just really annoying music revolving mainly around trucks, and they feel that the tunes are unimaginative, and they think that the voices of the singers are similar to that of a dying mule. Well, we all know the jokes on them!

Youtube

There is a great website that just about called Youtube. If you haven’t heard of it, you need to get out of your cave and get introduced to it. Now then, for those of you barbarians who don’t know what it is, it is a site compiled of possibly every video ever created. This also extends to movies, music videos, songs, TV shows, commercials, and even lectures and documentaries. Now then, this website can be used both for leisure purposes and also for educational purposes. For example, just a couple of weeks ago my group in my Language Arts class used Youtube to show an electronic reading of our authors work. Otherwise, if you find that you have missed an episode of a show, say the Chappell Show, you could just log onto Youtube search the name of the episode, and Presto! You can watch the show. Let’s say that you don’t know the actual name of the title, you could just search certain keywords that you think are relevant to what you are searching for, and a powerful search engine will almost definitely find what you are looking for.

What’s that you say? “Youtube, grunt, good”! Yes Youtube Good.

Let’s assume that you just crawled out of your cave and do not know about the shows that are commonly watched nowadays. Youtube, being the great site that it is, has a section on its home page dedicated to helping you find something to watch. This is called the “what other people are watching” section and can sometimes be convenient when trying to find something to watch.

I can tell you’re interested by the way you keep beating the ground with your club. So, tell you what, on the left hand of my Blog site, there are a list of websites that I find useful or interesting. Among those websites, there is one called Y-O-U-T-U-B-E that you might find interesting. So now just guide you mouse to the link and click on it.

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Research paper options

1) my first topic option would have to be the Lochness monster. It would be interesting to do some research to find out how real Lochy actually is.


2) my second option would be a research paper about the history of witch doctors, or specifically shrinks. It would be cool to learn how to shrink heads.

3) lastly, i would consider a research paper about different indian tribal traditions. I know some, for example, have a custom of walking on hot coals.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

the stupidest thing ever invented

I believe that CAPS LOCK is unquestionably the most retarded invention i have ever had the misfortune of using. I mean, CAPS LOCK is one of the biggest buttons on the keyboard, and the sole purpose of it is to make every letter you type is in capital letter form. I doubt that it is used commonly by anyone, unless they have some weird affiliation with capital letters. In addition to its inconvenience, there are many other problems associated with CAPS LOCK. One, for instance, could be trying to write in an acronym. If i wanted to write an acronym for Alabama Nerd Dictatorship, I would have to Have to abbreviate it as AND, which would pose a real problem if I was typing in CAPS LOCK, since both the acronym AND and the word AND would appear as the same word and nobody would be able to tell the difference between the two.

The only thing more annoying than the actual CAPS LOCK itself is its location. It is so easy for someone to accidentally press on the CAPS LOCK button instead of hitting the button for the letter "A". And once you hit the CAPS LOCK button, who knows how long you will continue to type for until you realize that the CAPS LOCK is on, and one of your words is missing the letter "A" somewhere? If it were up to me, I would probably have the CAPS LOCK button come standard as a separate component to the computer. By this I mean that the CAPS LOCK button would have to be placed in another room entirely for it to work, meaning that if you needed to use it, you would just get up and go into the other room and activate the CAPS LOCK. There, its as easy as 1, 2, 3.

It is unlikely however that all the major computer (or at least keyboard) making companies will change the keyboard the way I feel it needs to be fixed. That's why I’m willing to settle for just swapping the CAPS LOCK button with something as less likely of being accidentally hit, as the F8 button. That way, you can drastically improve the keyboard while having all the same buttons at the same time!

About this Blog Site

Mr. Ayers has now required that our AP class create our own blogsite and write in it several times a week. As a result, I have made this blog site. Right now it might not seem like much, but at the end of the trimester, you will be able to browse thought the treasured works of Pink Panther Blogs, and marvel at what you once thought was a mediocre badly managed blog site.

Monday, March 3, 2008

Of imagination

Why is it that sometimes people can see things that other people cant? is it because they have some sort of ability that allows them to witness things that only they can see, or is it something else, something like a hallucination that they believe is there but really isn’t.

I had a friend who once thought that he saw Spiderman late at night in Chicago. This was very comical at the time because he sincerely thought that he saw spider man swing from one skyscraper to the next. At first we thought that he was just trying to be funny, but he still, until this day insists that he saw spider man.

So the question is, did he really see Spiderman like he claims, or are we so unwilling to believe that there is a such thing as Spiderman that we didn’t even give him the benefit of the doubt? As people who use common sense and logic, it doesn’t seem possible that a person (Spiderman actually), is actually a real person and not just a comic book. There is probably a scientific explanation to this. Who knows, maybe someone dressed up in a Spiderman costume and jumped off of a building.